Got a bad tummy ache? Diarrhea is a serious emergency, don't try to hold it in, you might just skid your pants. Get off work now with the proper excuse letter!
Dear Davy,
I'll try my best to get to work today. I got a bad case of the squirts. I ate a bad taco on the way here and nearly drove myself off the highway. I'm going back home to weather this stomach flu. Please let the guys know, my cellphone line is open all day.
Tommy
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